More Than a Promise by Amy Lillard

Author:Amy Lillard [Lillard, Amy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kensington
Published: 2016-10-25T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Six

Mariana lay in the darkness and stared up at the ceiling. They had told her at the doctor’s office that she might be more comfortable lying on her left side with the pillow beneath her knees and maybe one at her back. But then they had followed that up with as she got bigger. Right now the babies were just a bulge, not much bigger than her stomach when she ate too much. Was she the only person they didn’t seem real to? Everyone else seemed to embrace the idea, but to her, they seemed as far away as the moon and as much of a fantasy as an Englisch fairy tale. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that she was having one baby, much less two, that Leroy was gone, she was confined to her bed, and Reuben had just proposed to her. Maybe she should pinch herself to see if she was dreaming.

Beside her, in the tiny shoe box, Candy whimpered in her sleep as if she was chasing rabbits. It was too much of a detail not to be real. So what was a girl to do?

“Oh, Leroy,” she whispered to the darkness. “I don’t know what you would have me do.” How could she determine the right thing to do when she was so entrenched in it?

Marry Reuben. Was that the answer? It would certainly give her a partner in this new adventure of parenthood. And she couldn’t think of anyone better to marry than him. But how could she marry him knowing how he felt about her even when she was married to someone else?

Though he had been mighty good at hiding his feelings, she had never once suspected that he felt anything stronger for her than merely friendship. Although he claimed otherwise, she couldn’t help but believe that one day he might find someone he truly loved.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe she was afraid that he only thought he loved her, and when real love came along he would be tied to her forever. Not just her, but her babies as well. Never ever could she steal his life and freedom from him that way. It just wasn’t possible. Not for her own selfish reasons.

She eased onto her side, wishing she knew the right thing to do. It would be so much easier to accept Reuben’s proposal, allow him to take care of her and the babies. Have him move in and support them while she took care of him as a wife should.

And though he said otherwise, what would they do if the day came when he was no longer happy with their arrangement? Losing Leroy had been hard enough, but to lose Reuben too . . .

She pressed a hand to her belly, wishing for something, some kind of sign. Anything to let her know what to do.

Dear Lord, Help me, Lord. Help me know what’s best. There’s more than just me to think about. And more than just Reuben.

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